The word narcissist is often thrown around in a negative way and is often used to describe someone who has a big ego and is selfish and not caring about other people so you may be wrong. The truth is, Narcissists are everywhere and they can be really hard to deal with. They can make you feel alone, they can be emotionally unavailable, and they can make you question your sanity. The truth is, they may be right in what they’re saying. Their words may seem like lies, but they may actually be telling the truth.
In order to better understand the malignant narcissist, you need to know what traits they have, what they do, and how they do it. As we know, running out was the only option left but there are some people in life whom we don’t want to run from. Thus, this article will provide you with smart ways on how to deal with narcissists in your life & save your relationship with them.
What is Narcissist Personality Disorder?
Those with narcissistic tendencies substitute a “false personality” that they present to the outside world to cover up deep childhood traumas and hurts. A narcissist presents himself or herself to others in a number of ways, including being excessively charming and having a “big” personality.
Narcissism turns into a personality disorder when self-love reaches an extreme level. When someone has this syndrome, their behavior and attitude cannot be regarded as normal. As a matter of fact, people suffering from NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) often feel empty beneath all that and never feel “good enough” because they constantly compare themselves with those around them.
In a nutshell, we can say that narcissists are frequently preoccupied with fantasies about having perfect love, unlimited success, and power. They frequently feel jealous of others, think they should be treated differently and can be taken advantage of without feeling guilty.
What are the Types/Characteristics of Narcissists?
There are two major characteristics of narcissists: grandiose and vulnerable.
Grandiose Narcissists:
The grandiose narcissist is flexible, but also extremely self-assured and attention-seeking. The best strategy for handling grandiose narcissists is to bring them on early and give them a crucial position.
Vulnerable Narcissists:
Meanwhile, vulnerable narcissists display passive-aggressive behavior and low self-esteem. The grandiose narcissist is more extroverted than the vulnerable narcissist and provides reassurance to keep the vulnerable narcissist on task and under control.
What are the Main Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
As of now, the causes of narcissistic personality disorder have not been successfully identified. However, some of the most common causes of narcissistic personality disorder are listed below.
Childhood trauma
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by grandiosity, lack of empathy, and entitlement. These traits are often rooted in childhood trauma. In fact, research shows that narcissists have experienced significant emotional abuse.
Parental rejection
Parents who reject their children may develop a sense of self-worth based on how they perceive themselves to be compared to others. If parents do not accept their children, they may feel inadequate and worthless. As a result, these children may become overly confident and believe they deserve special treatment.
Emotional unavailability:
Emotional neglect occurs when caregivers fail to meet a child’s basic emotional needs. When children are neglected emotionally, they don’t receive enough attention or care. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Family conflict:
Family conflicts refer to a dysfunctional family environment where members are unable to express emotions appropriately. Parents who exhibit behaviors associated with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), such as criticism and hostility, create a toxic home environment for their children.
Other major causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Childhood trauma (such as physical, sexual, and verbal abuse).
Excessive parents pampering
Genetics (family history).
Environment factors
Personality and temperament.
What are the Common Narcissistic Traits?
A narcissist is someone who thinks he/she is superior to anyone else, even though they are not. This is just one of the many personality disorders that exist. However, there are some common narcissistic traits you can recognize in a narcissist or that indicate the person may be suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder.
Having the spotlight is their goal
Narcissistic people are preoccupied with themselves and what they want. Narcissists are often obsessed with their looks and what others think about them. They have a strong need to feel special and unique. A person with Narcissistic personality disorder often seeks attention and admiration from others. They may put themselves first at times, even if they know it’s not right.
Can do anything for what they want
Narcissists believe they should get whatever they want without working hard for it. They may think highly of themselves and believe they’re superior to others. Narcissists are often jealous and envious of others. They may try to control the people around them. They may manipulate others to get what they want. In fact, people with narcissistic personality disorder expect others to cater to their whims and demands.
It is all about them
They don’t care about anyone else. He/She may be selfish and uncaring which is one of the biggest common narcissistic traits. They may not show empathy toward others. They may be insensitive to the feelings of others. Narcissistic may claim to be smarter than everyone else. They may brag about how much money they make or how many possessions they own they may think they’re famous. They may act like they’re God’s gift to humanity.
Taking everyone advantage
The other common narcissistic traits is exploitation; taking other advantage is the best they can do. They use others for personal gain. Narcissists exploit friends, family members, and coworkers. They use others to meet their own needs. They can go to any stage to get what they want, therefore narcissists may use others to get ahead, and they may take credit for someone else’s work.
Expert in blaming game
Narcissists act superior and refuse to acknowledge their mistakes. They don’t apologize or admit fault. This type of narcissistic personality disorder thinks they’re always right. They may be rude and disrespectful as well as belittle others as a result criticize others behind their backs. In short, blaming others for their problems because they can’t do wrong is another common narcissistic trait we can see.
What makes them feel better, hurts you the most
The person with narcissistic personality disorder always go with anxiety feeling making them constantly have negative thoughts. When something goes well, they lead you to believe that they are solely responsible for the task’s success and won’t miss any opportunities to take credit. If things don’t work, you’re the only one to blame.
As a result, all such common narcissistic traits are designed to transfer anxiety to the loved one in an attempt to not feel it themselves. The narcissist gets better and better as you get worse. In fact, he feels stronger and more superior as you feel his anxiety and depression grow.
How to Deal With Narcissists in Smart Way?
The aforementioned common narcissistic traits can simply imply living a life with a person having a narcissistic personality disorder is tremendously challenging, and we would like to run away from such scenarios. However, sometimes it’s not easy as it seems, so here are some smart ways how to deal with narcissists that are guaranteed to be beneficial for you or not break your heart.
Don’t trust them blindly
Narcissists are people who have a strong need to feel superior to others. They often put themselves first and are self-centered. They may be charming at times, but they are not trustworthy. Narcissists tend to manipulate others to get what they want. They are generally selfish and do not care about anyone else’s feelings. The narcissistic person just convenience others with their words but always fail to complete the promise. So never make the mistake to trust a narcissist.
Accept the reality
Narcissists are masters at getting their way. You cannot change them. So if you are dealing with someone who is constantly putting down your efforts, stop trying to please them. Instead, focus on doing things right; don’t let them make you feel guilty about yourself. Hence it’s good to accept the fact & seek genuine support. If things cannot be handled and worsen, keep in mind that some things cannot be changed without the assistance of medical professionals.
Draw the boundaries
Is simple, just draw a boundary in the sand & never let narcissist cross that. That’s a great way to make a person with narcissistic personality disorder aware of the consequences of pushing the boundaries. Well, narcissists don’t care about any boundaries but in this way, you can realize it’s good to take some serious action.
Go for small talk & walk away
Mostly this way to handle a narcissist is the best idea to opt for. A small & short conversation is one key to getting yourself away & out of toxic-argument conversations. If you’re wondering “how to deal with a narcissistic husband,” “how to deal with a narcissist wife,” or “how to cope with a narcissistic relationship” it’s actually a waste of time. Time spent with a narcissist is just like wasting energy, so save your energy & focus on what truly matters. In addition, try to have short conversations & if small talk turns into long arguments, walk away.
Don’t let their actions hurt you
A positive attitude helps you to overcome any situation. A positive outlook will help you to remain calm and confident. When you are feeling upset, remind yourself that it’s not your mistake relationship is like two roads, hence it’s not your fault if your relationship fails don’t blame yourself for that.
Get away from them
It is hard to avoid a narcissist, especially if you work closely with them. But if possible, try to keep away from them as much as possible. If you can’t avoid them, then try to stay calm and focused. Try to take deep breaths and count backward from ten. If you are being abused, you should seek professional help right away.
How to Speak a Narcissist?
Trying to figure out how to deal with a narcissist can feel like you’re preparing for a battle. Without an argument, it’s impossible to make your point. If you do have a point, they will either dismiss it or play a blame game.
Things you should say instead of what you want to say:
You’re wrong
NOOO, Narcissists can never be wrong if they are it’s because of you, there you go blame game starts & he/she wins. So be on the safe side instead of saying “you’re wrong” opt with “No doubt you’re right, but I see things differently” this way you may have good chances to save yourself from the blame game.
Incorrect: Using negative words with a narcissist
Correct: Turn the statement in a positive way
You’re such a big lier
Narcissists enjoy making up stories about their accomplishments. Any criticism of their behavior or attempt to deflate their ego makes them defensive, and pressing your point will only make things worse. Instead, try “It’s your story to tell.” Using humor is also a useful method.
Incorrect: Speaking to narcist directly
Correct: Add a twist of humor & sarcasm
Do things like that…
Oh no! You can’t be better than them, how dare you? Narcissists view any form of criticism as a personal attack. What they hear is that you are better than them. So to save yourself from backfiring, You can also say, “I had no idea you could do it that way, I usually…”
Incorrect: Giving instruction on how to do something
Correct: Suggesting a better way to do…
Additional advice: Narcissists genuinely desire to be understood and loved, so choosing your words carefully will help you a lot in this circumstance. Keep calm & talk smartly.
Is There Any Narcissistic Personality Disorder Treatment?
Fortunately, there are various narcissistic personality disorder treatments available, but convincing a narcissist to seek medical help is tough. However, with the help of emotional conversations and realizing them, they can make themselves much better; since they are self-obsessed, they will undoubtedly want to stand out from the crowd and strive for narcissistic personality disorder treatment.
Additionally, if you detect traits of your personality that are typical of narcissistic personality disorder or you’re experiencing overwhelming sadness, think about consulting a reputable mental health provider. Getting the narcissistic personality disorder treatment can make your and your loved ones’ lives more meaningful and joyful.
